Please help and more comments to help me? D:
ngohpx96@****.com

Please!Please!Please!

My wakeup call came from a guy cussing me out last week and I was crying & feeling like everyone was saying “Finally!” You know??
I WANT TO CHANGE. Please help?

Right now your focus is very narrow your looking at specific events in your life close up.

Your not seeing things from a wider view. If you can somehow pull back and assess your life / situation / the problem your fighting over for what it truly is, you will be better off. All of a sudden you will be able to see whats really worth fighting over. Sometimes it wont happen right away… You might lash out, and say something mean or insensitive first… ACKNOWLEDGE THIS, forgive yourself, and then FIX THINGS by apologizing to him.

If the issue is not something that’s terribly important you can find better ways to change whatever it is your not liking. (Positively for you both.)

The next step after you change your perspective is discovering other ways to handle your problems… Positively.

Example: He doesn’t help around the house much. Yet you like when he Irons your shirts. Praise him, if he knows hes scoring points by doing this, and it makes you happy, hes most likely to offer to keep doing it. Especially if your good about consistently being appreciative of his efforts. Its not submissive to be kind to those we love, especially when they do nice things for us

Its also not wrong to want to share responsibility around the home either. So you can develop ways to get what you both crave without fighting. This is the tricky part of learning how to not be a bitch. Im not perfect and sometimes I lash out (Especially during PMS) at my boyfriend. The key is to apologize, sometimes explain if needed, and do your best to stay positive. Sometimes things can end well if you thank him for forgiving you.

Especially… if you sunk yourself for no truly logical reason lol.
Please forgive yourself when this happens its not easy to change your perspective.

Best of luck
~Sasha

The fact your are googling ways to help change your behavior is a good first step. YOU RULE! It means you have noticed, and your wanting to change. Years ago I was a terrible person inside, mean, argumentative, always had a negative outlook. I wasn’t evil, but I brought others around me down. Sometimes not even meaning to. I was selfish, most young teens are. Its normal…

Its taken years to change my PERSPECTIVE on the world. You start slowly and try EACH DAY TO DO SOMETHING AWESOME FOR SOMEONE ELSE. Just start doing at least 1 awesome thing a day for someone. Make them smile, hold a door open. Complement them. Anything you do to help others will build yourself up too. Its like a landslide and over time it gets easier and easier, be aware of yourself and try each day to keep doing good for others.

I am an atheist and I do this and it makes me a stronger person, and empowers those around me with positivity. In the beginning it wont be easy because you need to learn to change your perspective. It does not mean changing your opinions, or values, but just how you view others. When you do this, your happier, more adaptable, people treat you better, and it just ends up being an awesome experience.

Goodluck to everyone reading. Oh and don’t be too hard on yourself when you screw up and lash out. Just apologize, forgive yourself and keep on trying because its so worth it to shed all that negativity.

I need help, advice, etc email me at: b8yBoop42@aol.com