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How to Break Up


It’s not easy to end a relationship…any relationship. Even the ones where you just can’t wait to get away from the other person…it’s still hard to break up with them. The Break up is probably the hardest part of most relationships…especially if one of you still has feelings for the other. Still, you’re not doing yourself or your partner any favors by spreading the pain of the break up over weeks or months as you pony up the courage to finally just “say it”.

There are several DOs and DON’Ts when Breaking Up with another person. Let’s cover the DON’Ts first.

  • Don’t break up over email/phone/txt – Be a Man (or Woman) and do it face to face. Sending a break up message via email or txting, or calling your partner on the phone is not only cheap and weasily, it also sends a message to this person that you used to love (or at least like) that not only do you not want them anymore, but that they don’t even matter enough for you to look them in the eye…or that you’re a coward. One of the two.
  • Don’t be mean for no reason - If you’re trying to hurt this person, then you’ve come to the wrong place. There is no reason to pour salt in open wounds. If you’re not able to get along with this person anymore, than you need to tell them that. Try to keep it as civil as possible. The cleaner, and more polite, the break, the easier it will be on both of you. There is no reason to create some or more bitterness between the two of you.

  • Don’t play the blame-game – There are faults on both sides of the relationship. There always are. No one is perfect, and there is no reason for you to waist time and energy blaming one another.

Now let’s look a few Dos.

  • Do Meet Face to Face – Find someplace quiet. A restaurant if you’re not comfortable being at home…but not a bar, or other noisy place. The calmer the environment, the better.
  • Do Keep It Simple – Try not to ramble, or fill uncomfortable silence with babble. Just get it over with.
  • Do Make it Clean – Don’t leave lingring up of a reunion if you don’t think that’s going to happen. Make the break a clean one, so that both of you can move on to new relationships

There is nothing wrong with a relationship not working out. It happens everyday. The key is to know when it is over, and to make moving on as easy as possible.


7 Responses to “How to Break Up”

  • Alex says:

    This is one topic I couldn’t write about. I have no personal experience with break-ups.

    Great article, Michael.

  • Scott says:

    Good start. There’s a lot to breaking up… I posted my own guide at AspireNow – feel free to cross-reference.

    Thanks and have a good night!

  • Can i add afew of my own how to break up?

    Don’t do the disappearing Act
    Some people simply disappear never giving a reason why they broke up with their partners don’t do it.

    Do consider the timing
    Be sensitive if he/she has lot someone or is no well don’t break up with him/her then wait till he/she is fine enough to receive the news.

    Don’t be too honest
    Don’t tell him or her your are leaving her for her bad breath, bad habits or even that you have found a hotter woman/better man.
    Bad breath, bad habits, hotter woman

  • ashley says:

    Hi thx micheal ur advice helped me alot.
    But do you mind if i add a few things?

    Don’t beat around the bush
    Some Women like it when men are to the point and don’t give little tidbits about wat they are trying to say.

    Don’t get someone else to do it 4 u
    Don’t make someone else breakup with your boyfriend/girlfriend.Thats just plain rude.Also it will hurt the person more than if you break up with them face to face. The outcome will be very bad.

  • philip says:

    i m not happy about breaking up but i have to cos she is not my type of girl.

  • RinaO says:

    Funny how thanks to internet you can look up things like this. Wish the sad excuse of a man I wasted my heart on… could have read this and learnt how to end a relationship with some class – and cojones. And most importantly respect. Being “normal” (loving, regular boyfriendlike behavior), making love and then saying “i love you” (girls don’t ever fall for these words cos they don’t get the meaning of the word) the night before….
    ….and then suddenly, next day, over the phone, become the hurtful, cold person he sometimes becomes (in the past year esp) and makes sure he hurts you bad by saying you’re so unbearable, his friends hate you and oh damn he has to rush it because his stupid “bros” waiting for him at the club. All this – just a couple days before our third anniversary.
    That’s all this relationship is worth to this guy. If I knew I would’ve walked away a LOOOONG time ago and found someone with a little more class. At least someone who can end a relationship right, as an adult, not a child.
    See girls – it boils down to this : I loved this man through his cowardly passiveness watching his friends humiliate and belittle me, his hurtful words and put-downs (which uncannily sound like quotes from his friends i’ve heard before), and public humiliation of pics of him partying with some fat ugly hoes over the Net (which I was tagged in by his buddies to make sure I saw it.)
    Is this high school?
    I WISH! We’re all working professionals – btw 28 and 31!!!!!
    I refuse to try to explain his behavior. That one act of utter and total disrepect of ending this relationship over the phone is all I needed to know that I will never go back to him. And trust me – neither will any woman with half an ounce of self-respect. Cos it’s not enough to tide you through the crap that is a man too cowardly to see you face to face, and has no regrd for what you had together to do it properly. We started as best friends. Now I wouldn’t even stop to help him if he was lying on the ground dying. For real.
    Guys – I know you don’t really approve of it either. Don’t ever EVER do it. Cos a woman’s undying devotion can be channeled into wrath – and then you are SOOOO screwed.
    Sorry it was so long but it just happened and one more thing : try your best NOT to take revenge, girls. I know we’re good at it. But don’t EVER sink to the stupid man’s level. You’ve wasted enough time on bad genes that might’ve resulted in stupid-ass kids anyway. So move on. But make sure he knows what he’s missed out on – and never take him back. There are good men out there. Leave the jerks to the sluts and ho’s.

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