
First of all, you really shouldn’t be having this problem. It’s unfair to your partner who completely trusts you. Jealousy will kill a relationship unless you put an end to it before it becomes your disease. You know why, because jealous people tend to behave badly being misled by their fears – you start saying things you don’t mean and start having suspicious thoughts you actually believe in. Save your relationship by controlling your jealousy. Start with these suggestions.
Deal with your insecurity. No matter how much you project your confidence, being jealous implies that you are insecure about yourself. It means that you have fears that someone is better than you are, and it scares the hell out of you. What you need to do is to realize that every person is unique. Don’t go comparing yourself to everybody because that’s not a good way to feel good about yourself. Just focus on your own assets, and your achievements and you’re sure to get ahead of things. Be secure in the fact that you’re the hottest being on earth – proof? Your partner chose you among all the others.
Value the virtue of trust. Trusting a person could be very difficult, especially if we’ve been betrayed in the past. But get over your issues on trust because unless you do, your partner will suffer your lack of security. Let go of your fears because you can’t do anything if you worry about it anyway. It’ll just keep you paranoid. Loving someone means giving him your trust, so that he can give you his trust too.
Love and trust go hand in hand. Don’t push your boyfriend away with your jealousy. If you know in your heart that your boyfriend is truly faithful, then it is just right that you trust him not to break your heart. The two of you can always talk when something starts to bother you so that it doesn’t evolve into a jealous fit.
15 Responses
amanda
March 20th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
1hmmm what if none of that works though?
hamza khan
May 11th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
2hello dear
i just to tell you three yeras before i lost my gilfreind in london the reason is my jealousy,she from brazil and me from afghanistan,we brought up in diffrent cultures.i love her to much.but i cant control my jealousy some time make me sick.now after three years found her in web site in brazil.i wish to try contact her and make plan for marrage but still i worry about my jealousy.and can take the resk.may same happen to me again
you give me suggestion what can i do next.to ignore her or to contact her .she was my best lover in world.one time i did she was.
from last three years cant out from my brain
i dont know what can i do next? Hamza
sweetheart
June 16th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
3i’m in a long term relationship right now, 6 years t be exact. have a problem with my boyfriend because of his non stop jelousy. our relationship was on and off hen we were in college. it felt like hell, i’m being embarassed by my friends, i cant go out with my old friends because he was jelous. and now it comes to a point that i want it to end. im so tired. when we broke up, and then after 3 months we get back together, thought hw would change but still he’s tha same. i want to move on, find someone who can trust me and not be insecure of me. but there is one thing im scared at,is that will there be a man who can love me the way he did. i have mixed emotions. please help me..
Sam
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:38 am
4Dear Sweetheart,
I am dearly sorry to hear of your deliema. I am telling you this because I feel as though your thoughts have saved my realationship with my girlfriend. We have dated for a year and i am a very jealous person. I have been hurt in the past so its been difficult but I have become trusting and things are going very well. I hope things have worked out. Thank you.
rod
July 27th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
5hi! your advices sounds really works though, what about in my case coz right now i actually felt it towards a guy who i loved maybe most now… he had been dating with one of my colleague itself in flat… i am not deserving to be his somelike relation with him coz i am gay but i felt the way woman feel if u know that he was sneaking someone within your place, it actually hurts me a lot but still i can’t stop loving him… he never says anything if i told him so… i am going to be crazy perhaps that is why i am asking your favor whatz the right thing to do. shall I moved out
from our circle so that i won’t see him anymore? please bear with me Thanks!
jeiar
November 5th, 2008 at 11:57 am
6wweeewww…… i can explain my feelings right now, in just a min. or sec.. read this advices my whole fucking jealousy is done in just a split of sec.
Jay
November 16th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
7What if the jealousy feels warranted over the activity involved? A girl I’ve been seeing (long distance) goes to clubs and dances with other guys. She frequently speaks of it and further often refers to incidents with these guy’s girlfriends having problems with her behaviour. She usually concludes with attempting to bring the girls out dancing too, but says those girls are wierd for being upset that she danced with their boyfriends. I trust her completely.
But:
1) I’ve had this issue with a girl before, she ended up a cheater.
2) My mother cheated on my father in much the same way which just went further,
3) It does bother me, sometimes to the point of illness.
I consider dancing to be very erotic and it feels to me like its one step off of sleeping around. So, if I have a jealousy problem, fine, but I’m being honest and I’m not sure how to accept this behaviour from her. I am also unsure if I should bring it up or in general, what to do.
blahhchick
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:03 pm
8Well,I’ve been in a relationship 2 yrs. I live with him. But im insecured. Ever since I got together with my boyfriend I gained weight but it seems like everytime we go to a party or anywhere, I always assume that he looks at the other girls. We get into big fights because of that. Deep down in my heart I know he wouldn’t cheat but since my last boyfriend betrayed me,I feel like I can’t trust anyone…someone help me…=/
ALAN
December 27th, 2008 at 1:04 am
9my relationship with my ex-partner ended not because of jealousy but when we were still connected, i became extremely jealous it often ended in fighting body contact. i couldn’t bear untill i swore that i will not fall in love again. but i’m so lonely now but i dare not look for a new partner because i’m afraid that my jealousy problem will turn out on me again.
pls help me.
MIRAh
March 27th, 2009 at 3:26 pm
10M3 AND MAH B0YFRI3ND JUS BR0K3 UP 2 DAYS AG0 N 3V3RYTHNG UP D3R3 IS 3XACTLY WAT I B33N DUIN N I CANT C0NR0L MAH J3AL0USY N I L0V3 THAT B0Y WIT ALL OF MAH H3ART N EVERYTHING WE D0N3 B33N THR0UGH W3 KANT ST0P IT H3R3 I L0V3 HIM S0 MUCH N I JUS WISH I WASNT S0 FR3AKN J3AL0US N ITS R3ALLY HARD T0 C0NTR0L I JUS R3ALLY N33D S0MEBODY TO TALK T0 M3 AB0UT C0NTR0LING IT =-[
sweetlittleme
April 13th, 2009 at 11:08 am
11I’ve been in a relationship for 20 months now im 15 i met my boyfriend online we’ve obviously seen each other hes 19 and i know he loves me his jealousy is just wearing me down i dont know what to do anymore i need help i really really need help we both know we need to do something its just so hard plus we’re so far away and it dont make it any easier we’ve tryed speaking to each other but its like going over things again and again going round in circles and we get frustrated with each other and argue and argue i know how he feels sort of i dont really understand it though but im trying.
kal
August 14th, 2009 at 7:41 am
12thanks..
u know why…
i can’t find a solution to control my jealousy and i always believe that i am the truth..
but.. hmmm… i realize it will not help our relationship.
yeah… i know we cant control our partner life..
she deserve to do what she want..
now i trust in faith… if she love me, no matter what happen… we will live together..
regard,
kalstudio.blogspot.com
IgnoredSilence
October 14th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
13Well.. Mine is something lol.. Lets see.. I dont even know if this is even active sense there hasnt been a new post in tw months .. Well I have a long distance relationship and all of the other ones i have been in ended badly.. Well i truely love this one girl.. We shall call her Sarah and call me Tom.. Well.. Sarah tells me about guys who like her.. That doesnt bother me but before me and sarah started our thing she told me about a guy she liked and that one guy she talks about and goes out with her family with ^^.. I dont think it should bother me but it kinda does… Saddens me aswell.. She wants me to be her first in everything.. im legal and she isnt.. But her mother knows me and doesnt mind us being together so its not against the law.. Only doing sexual things is.. Well.. I worry about her.. Kissing someone besides me.. She hasnt kissed anyone before.. And i have.. I have had sex.. I have a son which i lost to his mother.. Heh.. Well anyways. I worry she will regret being with me becuase i cant give her my first kiss my first .. Anything besides marriage .. Am i just being pathetically jealous? – Tom
Cherry
October 19th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
14hi.
i’ve been in a relationship 4 3 years. i never used to be so jealous over my bf b4. i get jealous wen he’s with fwends and family that just came into his life…and it’s destroying us!! i do think the reason is because he never used to have somone as important as me b4, and now he does. i used to b his everything, (and he was willing to do anything inthe world for me, now it seems tho i’m not his #1 anymore) since then our relationship has changed and i’m afraid of loosing him. any suggestions?
*cherry
Liz
October 26th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
15Hi I just found out my boyfriend cheated onme big time. Im very sad and hurt. He confesed everything and told me that I fight so much that he messed up. He told me he loves me and wants to be with me but if i continue to fight he preferes to be alone. The problem is that now i feel so insecure more than before. I really love him and wana be with him but I just feel its impossible to over come this.
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