Tragic as they are, accidents and illnesses can leave long-term and lifelong marks on people - marks like disability. It’s quite life-changing for the person to experience such a set-back. And it’s quite a life-changing experience for relatives of disabled people. No matter how optimistic one can go, many aspects of the household really changes to adapt to new circumstances. It really is a challenge for a family to deal with this.

Empowering the disabled

Political correctness can really be a game of semantics. The term “disabled” has even been campaigned to be changed to “differently-abled.” Semantics aside, dealing with disabled people focuses more on action rather than simply changing the term. But the least you can do for them is to make them feel that they’re still people - which they are. Losing physical function doesn’t make anyone less human.

Disabilities tend to become a device to stereotype people and it contributes to the overall shady disposition of the person. Most disabled people would veer into self-pity because of the attention and pity that other people shower them with. Never make them feel that they are just limited to their disability.

Have one particular objective in mind - that the disabled person moves toward independence.

Family should be ready to adjust how they go about things. For example, if a family member has some motor disability, it may be quicker for you to do things for them like dress them up and spoon feed them every time. But the person should be given the experience of dressing themselves up and feeding themselves. It gives them a sense of accomplishment and brings a bit of their confidence back.

In relation to this, it’s quite natural for disabled people to feel depressed, frustrated and resentful of just about anyone. It’s sad and painful indeed. However, don’t let this frame of mind affect your family. The disabled person might just end up being bitter and use the rest of the family’s “guilty” feeling (for not being disabled) to manipulate you. Counseling would often do you good if this seems to be the problem.

Communicating

Most of the time, the way we interact with these people means a lot. There are tactful ways to approach them.

For example, people in wheel chairs definitely sit at a lower eye-level than the rest of the walking population. So when interacting with them, be sure not to lean over them since this might be an encroachment of their personal space. If it’s just for a few moments, consider squatting. If the conversation would take long, pull out a chair. This way you’d still be eye-to-eye with the person. The person need not strain his/her neck just to converse with you.

You should also be very careful with how you communicate for people with hearing problems for their benefit of course. Speak slowly to make sure that the person can hold on to every word. Some can lip-read so be sure not to cover your mouth while speaking just don’t overemphasize your lip and jaw movements. Hearing aids tend to magnify all sounds including ambient noise, so better go to a more quiet place and converse there.

Problems may also affect speech. Stroke victims for example, may have speech impairments causing them to speak slowly. Be a patient listener and avoid cutting them off in the middle of their sentence.

For the blind or those with visual impairments, be sure to identify yourself. Use your normal speaking voice so that the person will be able to recognize you. If the person was born blind, avoid making references to visual cues like describing things like color or starting conversation with “Have you seen…?”

It may seem like tough work but being sensitive to these things would make interacting with them a lot better.