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Keeping a Long-Distance Relationship


Being in a relationship gives a person sheer joy. But where does love start and depression end when the relationship you’re in is what’s known as an LDR (long distance relationship)?

How do you fall in love with someone you don’t see all the time? How do you stay in a relationship which demands so much trust and effort? How do you comfort yourself with the thought of faithfulness and fidelity when the person you love is miles away from you? In short, how do you keep the music playing?

Loving a person comes with such needs like the need for intimacy. When you love someone, you long for that person all the time. Couples in a non-LDR setup have the great gift of meeting as often as possible – where they can hang out late nights, watch a sappy movie, have dinner, star gaze, plan vacations, etc. But the best part perhaps is going home knowing that the other person will be there beside you when you sleep.

While couples in an LDR are reduced to text messaging, online communication and rare phone calls, couples in a non-LDR have the pleasure of hugging and sharing all sorts of intimacy. Nothing brings more joy than being with the person you love most.

Share your experiences of coping with LDR in this academic research*.

* unlike typical quizzes, this survey does not provide an interpretation in the end


Categories: Sex and Relationships


13 Responses to “Keeping a Long-Distance Relationship”

  • Angel says:

    I’m currently in a relationship where he’s home for a month and away for a month. The 1st month that he’s been away has been hard, I won’t lie. But that constant communication even if it is just behind a computer screen means more than people realize. I sit here and wait for the phone to ring, and when it’s his voice on the other end, I’m the happiest woman alive. I can very confidently say one thing – if the love and trust is strong enough – you’ll get through anything! :)

  • I recently ended my long distance relationship of 1 year. My boyfriend was deployed for the second half of our relationship. Throughout his deployment he only communicated with me about once a month. I tried to be as understanding as possible and never complained about that. Even then, I would still send letters weekly (through the internet), and emails. He never wrote me one letter.

    Anyway, when he came back, and for the last half of the relationship he was pushing me away. What hurt the most is he never invited me to his Homecoming! I could believe it, but I still tried to stay positive. When we did see each other (1 week after he was back) things changed. For example, he never told me thank you (for standing by him while he was gone), I missed you, etc….

    After we saw each other he did not call me for an entire week, which I talked to him about. He said he “could” work on calling more, but no promises were made on his part. A few days later he still did not call so this when I ended the relationship. When I talked to him about ending the relationship he said he sort of agreed. I feel I had to end it because my needs were going unmet and my boyfriend was only doing the bear minimum to keep me happy. I also knew I didnt want to be treated like a doormat.

    Anyway I was just wondering if you all think I gave up on my relationship too soon, or if this guy is a just being a jerk and ending it was the right choice?

  • Linda says:

    definitly a jerk! Always go with your instincts :)

  • meemo says:

    what u did was absolutely right infact u shud hav left him on the first place wen he didn invite u to the homecoming like cmon u wer his gf den i think its gud u got rid of dat asshole u dont deserve dat jerk

  • Ashley says:

    I also am in a long distance relationship. we havn’t been a relationship that long but the strong feelings that we developed for each other so quickly made it seem like we were together longer. initially he was living about 5 hours away and rarely got to see each other but spent all day talking to each other. that first month or so 3 hours woudn’t go by without us talking. mostly phone time and sometimes while we were on the phone we would gmail chat or use yahoo messenger. we just couldn’t get enough of one another. at this same time he was out of work and i was there to support and give encouragement when he was down and even helped in his job search. then after no job was found and bills piling up he had to move back home with his parents in california….i live in north carolina. of course the change was a little difficult but we still did it. we couldn’t really talk early in the mroning and late at night anymore because of the 3 hour time difference. several weeks later he found a job in cali. that was difficult for me because communication went to hell. right around the time he found his job i was beginning to deal with some personal emotional problems. just overall unhappiness with my school and home situation and depression set in. so not only was i dealing with this stuff, i also felt that since we werent’ communicating even less i not only was losing my bf but also my friend. now here i am wondering if i should just end it. i love him so much but im not sure if i can handle the extra emotional strain it is putting on me right now. now we talk every 3 days for less than 30 minutes. he seems detached, uninterested, and he’s not the same sweet funny guy that i met initially. should i be patient because of the changes with his job and everything? am i giving up on a good thing when the going gets tough? i pray constantly but im still confused. initially we both believed that God sent us together for a special purpose. now i don’t know. someone give me some insight. i just don’t know what to do…HELP!

  • rach says:

    trust your gut, even if it not what your heart wants.

  • Communication, trust, honesty and passion will strengthen your relationship whilst you’re apart but you really have to believe in each other and your relationship for it to succeed…. although long distance relationships can be difficult, they can work and do work for many couples if both parties put in the effort.

  • Ashley says:

    i’m currently in a long ditance relationship where i will not see him for about 6 months…….and before we went 3 months with out seeing ech other….talking on the phone will strengthen your relationship…..i love him to death and we have made a lot of sacifices for each other and it is worth it….Try to make time for them if they call you or text you and tell them you love them it will help you in the long run
    I’m Ashley and I have met the love of my life at 15 years old.
    Robert Hengeveld is the person i will love forever

  • Robert says:

    My girlfriend who post one told me to look at what she wrote…..
    I agree with her for this type of relationship you need a lot of trust and honesty…..i once wrote her a love note for no reason and she absolutely loved it…..if you truely love someone you will find a way to make your relationship work……i love my girlfriend sooo much…I know that she is all i will ever need in my life…and when im with her it makes everything seem so much more special to the both of us. I’m Robert Hengeveld and i have met the love of my life at 15 years old….. You will all be reading in the newpaper…..Ashley Hengeveld because I have met the girl i want to spend the rest of my life with:)
    P.S. I have proposed all ready and i bought her the diamond ring and she wears it because when im 19 and she is 18 we WILL be getting married

  • Amy says:

    My boyfriend is in the Royal Navy, we were together only 4 months before he left – although i have known him a year in total. He now works and lives about 4 hours away from me, so I see him roughly twice a month. We speak every day at the moment and I trust that he loves me and I really do love him, I could see myself being with him for the rest of my life. But Im worried the distance and demands of being in the forces is gonna tear us apart eventually, and wondering if it would be easier to end it now. The hurt it causes me when I see him and he leaves a few days later is horrible, I miss him all the time, and although I know he loves me, it takes so much strength to be able to trust him while he is away and not turn into a jealous and paranoid nagging girlfriend. If all goes well, I think we could have such a good life together. But I dont know if this is worth all the pain, I feel truly miserable when he goes away again. I dont know what the future will hold, he could get deployed to another country at any point in our relationship, whether it be next month or after years of marriage and even after having children, I just dont know. But despite all this I know he is the one I want to be with forever. Is it worth it though? What do you think?

  • Lizzie says:

    My boyfriend is also in the navy and we were only togther for a month before he joined. He is away on deployment atm and isn’t back until December. He has been away for nearly 8 months and our only communication is via email and sometimes phone. It’s really difficult especially when each time I see him it hurts so much when we part again but if you really love someone there is always a way to make it work. My bf is the only person I can see myself with but even I have doubts about whether it will work. It’s very hard to get feelings across via email and text etc. You shouldtell your bf how you feel and see what he says. You have to be completely honest with eachother otherwise it’ll never work out.

  • Nikki23 says:

    i have only been with my boyfriend afew month,i have known him for 3 years,we met before he joined the navy. He were home this weekend and had to go back last night…that hurt saying goodybye!!..he is home again tomorrow as he has a funeral to attend on wednesday..then he has to leave for 6 month for his deployment. thinking about this makes me want to be physically sick! i dont know how im going to get through this and i feel like breaking down but im scared if i do i wont be able to pick myself back up again. he is the piece of me that were always missing and now ive found it in him,he is without a doubt my angel!
    i feel so guilty for saying this but a part of me doesnt want to see him because i dont think i could face that goodbye. how do i say everything i need to at that train station and kiss him goodbye without falling into a heap on the floor. i want too be so strong for him as i know his mind needs to be on the job and not worrying about how im coping. if i could speak to other women in the same situation i think that would be a great help. thanxs, nikki x

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