So my last article on “dating tips” got some decent hits. Honestly, I was quite hesitant in using the label “dating tips” for these posts since I wanted to focus more on body language as a topic. Maybe it’s just that that I’m guilty of applying what I learned from non-verbal cues even on dates. A few other female contemporaries of mine back in college admit in doing the same. And to good effect. Anyway, here’s a follow up, this time on male body language. Cheers to a few my female friends who shared their thoughts on this one.

I avoided making something that goes “Male Signs That He Wants to Get Some.” The fact that we asked a girl out is a dead giveaway that we’re interested. Women may think that we’re all horny bastards especially with the abundance of cat calling oafs. But not all men are just focused on getting some bed action, some of us may have decided to pursue more meaningful relationships by looking for a real partner.

Could women tell if we wouldn’t cuddle after or if we’d cook them breakfast in bed through our actions? Women are relatively sensitive to details. And our tendency to flaunt (compared with females who’d want to take the subtler way of showing interest), makes it far too easy for them.

Some books or articles on men’s behavior claim that we’re more primal in our body language. There’s a tendency for us guys to exude our manliness by literally being a cock. Notice how roosters keep their chest bulging, continually flap their wings, and cock their heads while walking? But thanks to too many romantic comedy movies, women are looking for that “strong but gentle” guy. Do your actions show “strong and gentle?” Here are some typical gestures and what they mean tell:

• PostureOne can easily tell a guy’s level of confidence just by observing his posture. If you swagger, you give off the impression that you’re trying too hard or too overconfident. Slouching or a bowed head would mean that you’re unsure of yourself. Confident people often sit up straight and walk with a natural, even gait.
• VoiceUse your normal speaking voice making sure you articulate words clearly. Talking too fast makes you look like you memorized your lines. Stuttering is a dead giveaway of nervousness. Though I know of a couple of women who may find stuttering cute.Don’t try to come off as suave with a perpetually low bedroom voice. There’s a reason why it’s called a bedroom voice. Guess where it’s used, Einstein?
• ConversationOh we really love talking about ourselves. Try to explore common ground - common likes and dislikes. That way you can keep the conversation two-way. A smile gives the impression that you’re not out there to threaten her. Humor is always good. Just don’t veer into raunchy jokes, especially on the first date.Keep track of what she’s saying. You might be too dumbstruck with that sexy dress she’s wearing but you don’t want to be caught not listening. Women love to talk and they love men who listen. And listening is different from hearing.
• Eye ContactKeeping eye-contact is a real challenge. But doing so, gives the impression that you’re sincere and really interested in her. It’s really hard to avoid looking somewhere else (especially if she’s flirting by showing a bit of skin). Glance, don’t stare. Don’t ever talk to her breasts. Oh yeah, avoid checking out other women too, you sick perv.
• TouchingBe careful where you place your paws. Remember, women are supposed to touch first. But when she does, don’t take it as an open invite and start groping.When walking with her, you can place your hand on the small of her back - too high gets you in the “friend zone” and too low may merit a slap for touching her butt.
• SpaceGive her some space. Don’t be the too protective of her and follow her around like some puppy. If she talks to other people, fine, just be courteous. Don’t lose out on the small talk and make your presence felt.
• Manners and EtiquetteBetter brush up on etiquette in general. Grooming counts. Just keep yourself neat and clean. Invest on grooming products. be wary of how you approach other people. Hollering at waitresses. Seeking petty quarrels. Lack of table manners. Generally being unkempt. These tell her that you’re a pig. A cocky pig.

So there you go, a few tips on how to get into her good graces without looking like a total loser or a total jerk. Just remember that these shouldn’t force you to act like too mechanical and stiff.

Remember, these help especially if you’re looking for something deeper than a night at the bar. For some reason, I do have the nagging thought that being more of the prototypical Alpha Male still applies better for those in the swingles circuit (Thoughts, anyone?).

Winning her starts by being yourself and being a nice guy. Every guy’s got a sense of charm in his own little way. Society has advanced a bit and the concept of a great guy isn’t all about cockiness and testosterone anymore.