Life Spy
Syndicate
After an entry on poop comes another one in this mini-series on relationships. Commitment is a very strong word. Some people (especially guys) see prison bars when they hear this word. But commitment isn’t such a bad thing. If you are presently seriously committed, you know what I mean. But if you’re still too damn scared and believing in the totally misogynistic “Why buy the cow?” catch phrase then listen up.
Most people who are afraid of commitment end up alone. Believe it or not, being scared of commitment is probably the topmost reason why singletons remain singletons for the rest of their lives.
Commitment is not the opposite of freedom. Committed people have a very profound understanding of love and all it entails. Committed people are happy to commit.
Your promise is also the other person’s promise. The best part about promising your heart to someone is that your someone also promises her heart to you. Being promised to be the only passion in a person’s life is the best gift a person can give you. Just think of the number of people still seeking for love – those who have tried and failed, those who have tried some more, only to fail again.
The value of fidelity. When other people start getting bored with their longtime partners, you get more and more passionate. Fidelity is about being with only one person for the rest of your life. The value of fidelity is that you receive the same loyalty, too. Being in a relationship requires exclusivity. But this shouldn’t be too hard. If the person you love is the one you already have, could you want anyone else?
4 Responses
Melanie.
April 18th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
1I’m scared of commitment, I can like someone and the second they tell me that it’s mutual, I can’t handle it and for some reason I’m convinced I don’t like them anymore. Temporarily when friends address my problem, I see sense, but I don’t really feel it’s a problem I can just overcome. It’s so difficult, and unnecessary. I do want a relationship, a lasting one, but I can’t seem to allow myself to. These thoughts just enter my mind, then it clouds over and I can’t think or work out how I feel for the guy even if I know I liked them before they told me. It’s really confusing and difficult to deal with, and I don’t know how I can possibly overcome it.
Eliza
August 12th, 2009 at 9:58 pm
2This kind of helped, but yes I see where you’re coming from. I am really scared of relationships, boyfriend/girlfriend labels, commitment. I don’t know why I would think I am mature for them. However I’m scared that I will lose interest fairy quick, the longer I keep this somewhat relationship going, if we stop seeing eachother it will feel as though I wasted my time. But he say’s it makes sense. If I like him. He like’s me. We are labeled “in a relationship”. I have no idea why but it’s stressing me out, just a label. I don’t think I’ll ever be prepared for one. Maybe I will be in my 20’s.
Betty
August 19th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
3i feel the same way. i say i like the person and when i start going out with them i start to tell my self somethings wrong and that i dont liek them anymore. its so werd and annoying. i want to be happy but im the problem. i also cant stand when someone shows that they really like me telling me things liek your amazing beucase that just drives me farther away. i get som cofused and half the time i feel like im just saying tings and not mening it like they do and that makes me sad because i want to love someone just as much they love me. i dont know when this will stop but i have a fear of relationship lables. even tho its just a lable. i know i like him and he likes me but i always feel im so confused and that i can never like the person back fully for some reason. its so hard thats why i hate dating. its weird and then at times i would say omg i cant live without them they mean so much to me and then the next day i would lose all the feeelings . its a roller coaster ride
lizzie
October 8th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
4I feel the exact same way, im going out with a junior in high school (im a freshman) and when i first started liking him, i was really hooked. now that we know we like eachother and decided to lable ourselves as ‘going out’ im finding so many immature things that i find wrong with him! I really want to return the love, but how can I do this if all i can see is the bad and not the good? It kills me, because I really like him and at the same time all I can think about is how to avoid him. I only just found out about my being scared of commitment this week, and it scares the life out of me. I always thought i was ready, and now I know im not and i dont want to be unprepared. It’s so scary, I wish i knew what to do and how to get rid of my problem.
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