
One of the most difficult pains to get over is the death of a child. Parents should never suffer the death of their children because it just goes against the natural state of things. But if something as tragic as this indeed happens, how can one ever hope to get over it?
Perhaps it’s not a question of getting over the pain, but a question of moving forward. When we’re hurt, we desperately wish that the pain will be erased completely. But to hope this is not realistic, because the pain will always be there. The more practical thing is to help yourself accept what happened. There are simply some things beyond your control.
Take comfort in the presence of your other children. Divert your attention to your other children who are still with you instead of focusing on the loss of one child. If you surrender to your pain, you might forget that your other children need you, too.
Visit your child’s grave. One of the stages of coping with death is denial. But make sure to help yourself get past your denial stage. If you miss your lost child, visit the grave and talk to him/her about how much you miss him. It’s better to be open about your feelings rather than to keep it to yourself. Also, being able to share your grief with those who care for you makes it more endurable.
Take time off. It’s not about needing an escape, but it’s about giving yourself a new shot at happiness. What you need after a terrible loss is to rediscover that there’s still so much to live for. File your leave and go out of town or out of the country with your whole family so you may move on together.
2 Responses
Amanda
September 27th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
1It’s hard when you lose a child. It’s probably one of the hardest if not the hardest thing in life as you expect them to outlive you almost all of the time. There are many ways to cope with this and everyone is different and will grieve and heal in completely their own way. Some people create online memorials at sites like http://www.ilasting.com or memory-of.com, but I think the best thing to do is just to keep their memory alive by just talking about the person. Never let their memories go dark. Talk about them and remind people about what they meant to you.
EZ Kids » When You Lose a Child
October 10th, 2008 at 12:59 pm
2[...] would offer advice, but trust me–it’s not as easy as one, two, three. It never [...]
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