How to Deal with a Controlling Partner
Among the most complicated relationship problems is having to deal with a controlling partner. Not so long ago, you used to have time with friends and for yourself. You used to have fun with other people and you used to be less uptight. Now you can’t even come home late without fighting about it. Now you had to ask permission when you’re spending a day with the boys.
Could it be that you’re in manipulative relationship?
Are you the only one who’s happy with your choice of partner? I know that in choosing a partner, you put your opinion on top of everyone else’s. After all, you’re the one who’s going to live with this person in the long run. But sometimes when people who love you think you’ve made a mistake then maybe you have to look again to see if they have a point.
Is your relationship improving your life? A relationship should help you to become the best that you can be. Cliché as it is, but being in love should really bring out the best in you. Love should give you inspiration, motivation, and a general feeling of happiness. If you’re not experiencing any of this, your relationship becomes more of a burden, rather than a happy place.
Evaluate how your relationship is affecting your life — your career, your goals, your other relationships, and your individuality. When you let a person control you too often, you become someone else, subject to another person’s wishes. While of course it’s good that you respect her by letting her into your life, don’t ever lose your individuality. You should always have a sense of self with or without a partner.
Are you tired of the relationship? Controlling relationships exhaust your energy because it demands too much from you. A relationship should render you excited, not worried or tired.
Are you defensive when people tell you that your relationship isn’t healthy? Be fair to yourself and be honest. If you don’t want to admit it to anyone, at least answer it truthfully for yourself. If deep down you know she is ruining your life, then maybe it’s time you get your life back, this time without her.
Or give it another shot. Help her deal with her manipulative tendencies. People who tend to be control freaks are usually insecure. If your relationship is important to you, you can give her time to change her ways. The most important thing is for her to realize that a manipulative relationship does not work for you.
October 22, 2008 Wednesday at 6:26 pm