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How to Deal with a Controlling Partner

Among the most complicated relationship problems is having to deal with a controlling partner. Not so long ago, you used to have time with friends and for yourself. You used to have fun with other people and you used to be less uptight. Now you can’t even come home late without fighting about it. Now you had to ask permission when you’re spending a day with the boys.

Could it be that you’re in manipulative relationship?

Are you the only one who’s happy with your choice of partner? I know that in choosing a partner, you put your opinion on top of everyone else’s. After all, you’re the one who’s going to live with this person in the long run. But sometimes when people who love you think you’ve made a mistake then maybe you have to look again to see if they have a point.

Is your relationship improving your life? A relationship should help you to become the best that you can be. Cliché as it is, but being in love should really bring out the best in you. Love should give you inspiration, motivation, and a general feeling of happiness. If you’re not experiencing any of this, your relationship becomes more of a burden, rather than a happy place.

Evaluate how your relationship is affecting your life — your career, your goals, your other relationships, and your individuality. When you let a person control you too often, you become someone else, subject to another person’s wishes. While of course it’s good that you respect her by letting her into your life, don’t ever lose your individuality. You should always have a sense of self with or without a partner.

Are you tired of the relationship? Controlling relationships exhaust your energy because it demands too much from you. A relationship should render you excited, not worried or tired.

Are you defensive when people tell you that your relationship isn’t healthy? Be fair to yourself and be honest. If you don’t want to admit it to anyone, at least answer it truthfully for yourself. If deep down you know she is ruining your life, then maybe it’s time you get your life back, this time without her.

Or give it another shot. Help her deal with her manipulative tendencies. People who tend to be control freaks are usually insecure. If your relationship is important to you, you can give her time to change her ways. The most important thing is for her to realize that a manipulative relationship does not work for you.


4 Responses to “How to Deal with a Controlling Partner”

  • Tresa says:

    Controlling a partner may be a problem with a relationship you are having and yet if you are with someone else it may not be a problem for you. I am enately a little insesure but I was married to a wonderful man for 22 years that had the freedom to be late from work, to hunt and fish with friends, who had two different careers and had so much freedom to develope himself as he returned to school. There never seemed to be this jealousy or threat of him leaving because I truely trusted him. Then he died and I married a few times after that and noticed the men I picked had a tendency to violate my trust with them right off the get go. I once had a therapist that said there is no such thing as jealousy as there is that people who place you in a position of being jealous then there is anger and hurt not jealousy and depending on the partner they can make you insecure because there are just un tustworthy people. My last husband was caught in a multitude of lies and he would say that because I get mad he feels he has to lie. So he passes the buck. But, in reality any woman would get mad if you have dinner on and her husband is late and seen by friends at a local bar with another woman on his arm. Is that jealousy on my part or indignation for being disrespected. In other words the average person that is controlling perhaps is that way because of the untrustworthy person she is with so which comes first the chicken or the egg? The control or the mistrustful behvior?

  • Tim Clark says:

    the real problem is that some people don’t seem to understand that letting go of control will not only make for a better relationship but will also make you happier

  • Cheska says:

    as proven by your 1st husband there are guys who can be trusted. If your 2nd husband keeps on lying to you then your relationship is not good for you. You have to trust your husband, but at the same time, if he also has to deserve it. If he still dates other women now that he’s already married, then he doesn’t deserve your trust, nor your love.

  • Ty says:

    i am not a controlling person but some of the girls that i date belive that i am controling because i set standards for my self and what kind of women i get. the kind of women that i am looking for is the kind of women that do not drink or do drugs and do not cheat that is all that i ask. so when a girl that i fall in love with and she falls in love with me. well i could not say it is all of her fault it is part of mine to for knowing wat i am getting myself into and just thinking that things will change. i have a record of dating women that enjoy to drink but when they start dating me i do not know so i dont say nothing well when i find out i will give them a choice, EITHER you stop drinking or you lose me. so they stop and then shortley afterwards when they decide they want to go back to wat they used to do they blame me for chanding who they were and that i was contronling cause i did not let them go out and have there fun but i belive if that person truly love you than they could change little things like that. i change when i notice i am doing something that the girl i am dating dont like but you dont see me saying stop controlling me you are being controlling i think that women belive that only guys are controling well from all of the relationships that i have been in the girls expect to have all of the fun and expect you to sit at home. SO i belive that control swings both way and you women need to see that.

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