How to Deal with Mother and Daughter Conflicts
Hey, it’s Mother’s Day, so Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. And mothers all around deserve the recognition for their best efforts. True, we love our Moms, but there are also countless times that we hate them. Regardless of the successful women that we’ve become, we are reduced to helplessness when it comes to our mothers.
It is only natural for mothers and daughters to not always see eye to eye on certain things. But when these conflicts start to heavily burden our mother-daughter relationships, there is a need to seriously look into it. Having grown up in with just a mom and a sister, you bet I know how tough it is when two females in the family have a row. Hopefully, the following tips could help in rebuilding or strengthening your relationship with your Moms.
See your mother as an individual. Get to know your mother as a person, instead of a parental figure. Now that you’re an adult, learning about her life experience can help you to understand her motivations. This can also give you a clearer idea of her behaviors toward you. Hopefully, you may be able to see her with more compassion and understanding.
Strive to break negative relationship patterns. If you feel like you’re always being on the defensive when Mom is around, especially when she makes unfavorable remarks about your clothes, your lifestyle, etc., step back and think of more adult responses before blurting out angst-driven remarks. When you speak to her in a calmer, more respectful way, instead of your “typical” reaction, she might be drawn to listen to your point.
Take equal responsibility of the relationship. You’re not the little kid anymore; you have the power to make rational decisions for yourself now. So instead of blaming your mom for certain foul-ups in your life, take the initiative to change whatever needs to be changed in your relationship. Don’t just wait for her; make the move to talk with her if you still have unresolved issues.
Seek help. If your troubles with your Mom have become exceedingly stressful to both of you, seek professional help, someone who can lead both of you towards healing.
Despite their power to make or break you, mothers are only human and they also need help. If you work hard at your relationship with Mom, you might not just be helping yourself, you’re also helping her.
May 11, 2008 Sunday at 3:12 pm