People say that the most important thing about the holidays is being with your family–going home to spend quality time with your parents and the rest of the clan. And no matter how much you want to believe that this year’s reunion is going to be special, deep down you know that whenever your relatives visit, bad things usually happen.

Family reunions are rarely a hundred percent fun. More often than not, the people you were looking forward to see cause you great stress. How can you reduce this tendency?

Invite only the ones you share friendly relationships with. Don’t be pressured to invite everyone just because they’re family. This is practically the best way to avoid awkward and unfriendly (yikes!) conversations. Get your family tree, and cross out the disagreeable ones because they’re not getting any invites this year. If they’re not there, then there’s no chance of conflict.

If you had no choice but to invite even the crabby ones, be a social butterfly. By spending a minimum time with them, you won’t have enough time for tension to build-up. Just spend five to ten minutes every person then hop to join the conversation of another group. This technique is brilliant because you will seem friendly to everyone, and at the same time, you won’t stay long enough to endure bad company.

Focus on the preparations. By being preoccupied with the food and decorations, you will stay out of any arguments. After giving your hi’s and hello’s, you can rush to the kitchen and do your work and you don’t have to talk to the guests you don’t like.

Avoid topics which are sure to strike arguments. You know them, so you know which subjects to avoid. Prevention is better than cure, so to avoid further problems, talk about safe topics.