Teenagers are confused about so many things. And it’s just natural that, as a parent, you are very concerned about your kids’ decisions and well-being. You feel like they’re keeping secrets from you and you have a lot of suspicions. You worry all the time because you just want them to pay attention. How can you help your children get through this difficult stage so they can be life-loving and responsible adults? Enough with the emo, already!

Relate and understand. What were you like when you were a teenager? Admit it! You weren’t always doing good things, and you have your own dark secrets of the past. Your kid is just starting to find herself. When they often push you out of her life, remember that they’re trying to figure out things in their lives (just like how you were decades ago) and their anger is probably a defense mechanism of their surfacing insecurities. They don’t hate you. They just need to know herself more.

Let go. As long as your kids know that you’ll always be there for them, you can give them a taste of independence. Kids who feel controlled usually break free in rage. A teenager who learns early in life that actions have consequences will tend to be more responsible for their actions.

Don’t give them unnecessary family drama. Boys, makeup, and what to wear on weekends are already heavy issues so don’t burden your kid with more family drama. Family is the one thing that can nurture or ruin your kids’ life so make sure you are bringing them up in an environment that knows respect and love, among others. If you and your spouse are always fighting about money, third parties, or past issues then you are not giving your kids a good memory for when they’re older. Fix your own issues so that you don’t destroy your kid’s life with your own doing.