Do you know those times when you wanted to come up to your boss because you needed clarifications about the new project but you just can’t summon all your guts to do it? You never thought of yourself as easily intimidated, but there’s just something about your boss that’s so the-devil-himself. You simply can’t approach people when they’re not approachable.

Being approachable has its advantages. Say your boyfriend or girlfriend took you on their family reunion. Rather than just sitting aloof in a corner, being approachable will get you forming new relationships. If you don’t reach out, you’ll be left out of every conversation and you won’t charm your way into your partner’s family.

When you find yourself surrounded by people you’ve never met before, do you talk to strangers who approach you? What do you do when you catch a person staring at you? What do your gestures suggest when you talk to an acquaintance? The answers to these questions will reveal if you’re approachable or if you’re scaring everyone away.

Achieve the balance of being outgoing and sympathetic. If a person asks you on the street for directions, don’t treat him like a pest. If a hottie approaches you in a bar, acknowledge the potential romance instead of scowling at her/him. Give it five minutes of chatting then decide if you should continue flirting or bail out.

Smile. It never fails.