Whether it’s about missing a promotion at work or a relationship that has gone sour, failure is always a bitter thing to swallow. But in life, there really are things that you can’t have. All you can do is to accept it and move on. There are better things in the world which you may not discover if you wallow in self-pity. Here are some suggestions on how you can deal with failure:

Accept it. This is the first step. If you made a mistake, then own it. If you have to deal with a whole baggage of distress and nasty feelings such as guilt, despair, incompetence, embarrassment, fear and vulnerability, then don’t suppress them. These feelings have to be dealt with before you can move on. How can you start active planning when you haven’t even accept the fact that you failed?

Analyze it. By getting in touch with your feelings, you’ll gleam vital information about yourself. Why do you feel guilt in the first place? Why do you feel incompetent? Perhaps you had very high expectations of yourself. Find out what and where you can make improvements on yourself or your
strategies. If you think it difficult to do on your own, then talk with a friend over it. That friend may find objective and insightful opinions which you can take into consideration.

Plan it. Now that you have enough information about you and your situation, it is time to make a planned course of action. If you failed a promotion, then you might want to plan to get it on the next opportunity, or maybe you’ve decided to change jobs. Plan a series of actions you can do to make sure you get it this time.

Act it. Planning is useless if you do not put your plan into action. Stick to your goals and in no time, your self confidence will come back.

Let go. Stop looking back at what happened.  Let go of the bitterness. Just learn from your mistakes and move on. You have your plan, and you are now acting on it. There is no more point in dredging up things that you can no longer do anything about.