Anger, like any emotion, can be healthy when expressed and managed in the correct manner. If you feel that you have little control of your anger, or if you have difficulty expressing anger, here are some tips that might be helpful:
Back away from the whatever it is that is making you angry. Take a time-out. Count from one to ten and breathe. This usually helps dissipate that dangerous first burst of anger. A little space or some fresh air will help you cool down and give you the chance to contemplate. During that time, make a quick assessment of the situation. To what or whome is your angery directed? Is it a person? A thing? A situation?
Acknowledge your anger. Express what you are feeling. Even if you only get to say to yourself, “I am angry!” can help get rid of the feeling. After you’ve calmed down a bit, think if you still find the need to confront the source of your anger. This is especially more so if you are in an argument with a person.
Sometimes, after we have calmed down, we realize that the reason of the anger you’ve experienced can be quite petty. So there might not need to go back and get involved in another argument. But if you feel that the only way to resolve the situation is to talk with the other party, then do so. Just remember that as the “better” person, you should be able to control your temper and go through with the confrontation rationally.
Once you are ready to confront the source of your anger with a clear and rationale mind, then come back and do so. If you are having an argument with another person, then ask a third party to arbitrate if an argument should get out of hand.
Move on. Once you’re done with that episode, it’s time to let go of the hurt and angry feelings and turn your focus on other more important things. Letting anger fester will only cause you bitterness and negativity, and you wouldn’t want that now, do you?
July 1, 2009 Wednesday at 7:33 pm